Don't be too stern

Another area of fatherhood that I would warn young fathers to be careful about , which comes from reflecting on my own weaknesses as a father, is anger. Two aspects come to mind: displays of anger and addressing disrespect.

I think that displays of anger by the father can lead to an unhealthy fear in a small child. The father is after all huge and powerful in the eyes of the child. If this powerful figure proves to be dangerous, the relationship between the child and his father will be warped. This is likely also to affect the child's image of God.

Also, displays of extreme anger, which some of us are prone to at times, can have longer term unexpected consequences. First of all, displays of rage are almost never effective. At least, the results we get aren't commensurate with damage done. If a child, especially a son, observes this over time, it will result in lowering his respect for his father because he will see that he is ineffectual. Fear will turn to disdain. IMHO.

Regarding respect, when the child is small, real respect, which is a healthy fear, should develop easily if the father is in fact respectable. If the father is a good man, is fair with his children, and has good communications with them, respect should naturally follow. (This gets back to the importance of the father's holiness.)

If an incident occurs, as it is likely to from time to time, in which you feel like your son (or daughter) is being disrespectful, don't respond with harshness ("don't embitter your children," Col 3:21), but rather quietly take the child aside and take the approach of asking "What were you thinking?"