Talk to your son

A father's communication with his son is an area that I think is extremely important. It is also an area that I regret not doing a better job with in raising my own sons. It is an area that I think is more important today than ever before, because the challenges that our young men face become increasingly more difficult to meet successfully as American society becomes less supportive of the Christian life, or even a healthy human life.

The real focus of my concern is the teenage years, but the foundations have to be laid much earlier. I would urge fathers to work diligently to establish good regular communication with their sons starting in the earliest years. I would say that as soon as the a boy starts school, or is away from the family for significant lengths of time, even if it is just for preschool, his father should take time to talk with him about what he is experiencing. Given the demands of modern life, a set time for this should be established. The harder it is to get time to talk, the more important it is to make it a clear priority.

Boys tend not to be very communicative. Usually the father will feel like he is dragging all the communication out of the boy, but it must be done. When the boy reaches the teenage years, the father will want to know about his friends, what they do, what they talk about, what they think about such topics as girls, music, movies, school. If you talk about these things regularly, from an early age, it should be easier later when the young man may be more reticent to talk about them.

A buddy-buddy relationship won't work. Proper respect is is crucial. But the respect has to be mutual. The father is always the father, but, as the boy becomes a young man, I think that the father can also be a friend.

This could really be a separate topic, but I would warn fathers against being too stern with their sons (or with anyone).