Most Important - Holiness

As I was thinking about what I would say to a young father, two things came immediately to mind, and I prayerfully pondered them for a while. The first is personal holiness.

Let me make a disclaimer up front. I don't mean to advocate a "me and Jesus" kind of spirituality. We need brothers and sisters around us to support us. We need the local body and the whole wider church as well. No question.

But the most important thing for a father in raising his children is personal holiness. I don't mean just righteous living, but a deep abiding perservering connection with the Lord, like a branch to the vine. I say not just righteousness, though righteousness in the point, because it can happen only through the connection with the Lord. Without this life-giving connection, our attempts at righteousness can easily degenerate into self-righteousness. But when we are connected to the Lord his life will flow through us to our children.

Our personal holiness is essential because we are our children's teachers, all the time, willy-nilly. We are teaching our children whether or not we are aware of it at a given moment. How do our children learn English (or whatever our native language)? It happens without any conscious effort, although the process can be enhanced by conscious effort. (So watch your language!) But even deeper, more basic life lessions are learned by our children all through their lives with us, from the very beginning.

More to follow.

First thoughts and intentions

I have created this new blog as a place to record my thoughts about being a father in these days. My children are all grown and moved out of the house, but I still think a lot about being a father. Three of my sons are fathers already, so I suppose being involved in their lives and their children's lives keeps the topic alive for me.

There are things about my raising of my children that I regret, as well as things that I am happy about. Similarly, the future that fathers of young children face will be in some ways like what I faced and in some ways different. I don't think it will be easier for fathers who want to raise children to be successful in life as Christians, or even as human beings. What I publish in this blog is intended to be helpful in this project. I pray constantly for my children and their families. That is my first bit of advice for fathers, echoing St. Paul: Pray constantly!